Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Alex the Lion can Bugger Off.

It is now 3.28am.
We (and by we I mean my son) are now requesting Madagascar on Madagascar on....there was a Pooh Bear thrown in there somewhere in between somersaults (is that really how you spell that?!).

I made the following statement in response:

'Hell no'.

He is now biting at the zip on a cushion and asking to paint.


We are going upstairs.....the stair gate is on so he can do as he is most certainly sleep time for mumma.


Snails Anyone?

It is 2.43am.
My son has been up for 20 minutes.  As I try to type he is demanding my attention over at the snail tank....every so often the snails are rewarded with a break as he 'assists' the poor hamster to spin his wheel. 
This nightime escapade follows, at a rough, weary guestimate, an hour of lying on my sons floor punctuated by singing, cuddling and a bokkie milk.  The beast then awoke fully demanding 'pasta and meat'.
Seldom do I give in and come downstairs but I really needed a brew.  Saying that, he rarely wakens at this hour so I can forgive a rare nocturnal episode.  It just means that he will sleep at nursery tomorrow and piss my £40 fee up the wall slightly.  And I will have to work very tired....but that I am used to along with the rest of the working parents out there.

Anything but crying...or screaming...or biting.  Hamster baiting is actually encouraged.

Look how tired he is:

Please let it be sleep time soon....amen x

It has been a while....but here goes!

Oh blog how I have missed thee.  A chance to ramble on about complete nonsense in the hope that someone finds it remotely interesting.
So, my son is now 2.5 years old...although I need a physicist to explain why I have aged exactly 7 years in this time.  I never get asked for ID since having a child, (if I worked in an alcohol shop I would ask weary looking women for ID just to give them a boost).  I am now a single mum and have been for just over a year.  It's been a tough year.  I left my job (as my son was full time in nursery and I felt lonely and missed him a stupid amount) and started my own business.  Why I didn't do it years ago is beyond me.  Life is good.  But I don't write this blog to ramble on about the greater meaning of life, it is my chance to vent about the challenges every day, the mundane and weird stuff that you accept as a parent.

A few weeks back, when the sun actually appeared, I had to say both of the following sentences to my son in the same day:

Please stop licking mummys car.

Please stop lapping water from the paddling pool like a dog.

Needless to say he ignored both requests and I just shook my head.  Each to their own my son but you are weird!

Today he has been eating glitter.  Normally I can hide these strange tendencies but as said glitter will make a dazzling appearance in his nappy at nursery tomorrow I shall have to admit to it in the morning.  As the mother who had to explain why my son had taken a bag of potatoes to nursery one particular morning, the glitter will come as no great surprise to the staff.

Now he sleeps.  Now I drink wine.  The tipsy calm before another storm.

I will try to blog every day....but hey, I vacuum about once a month and rarely change my bedding so you might not see me for another year....but I will try.

Later alligators x