Friday, March 4, 2011

While You Were Sleeping.

My darling son is not a great sleeper, he will fight with all his might to stay awake and has been known to allow me less than two hours sleep during the night.  It seems to have been decided, (although I wasn't invited to the meeting), that I will do all of the nightly feeding/cuddling/changing and for that reason I set up camp downstairs on the sofa.  Yes, our front room is not only a small zoo but also a nursery at the moment.  Now, the official reason for this is that my partner is working and needs his sleep but I would like to share with you the real reason.

Picture the scene for a moment:
It's 2am, darling baby is screaming and I trudge downstairs to make up a bottle.....I wish I had been able to breastfeed.  I perch, very uncomfortably, on the edge of our super-squishy matress and start to feed bubba.  My head is bobbing about all over the place as I fight off sleep, (it really is a miracle that I haven't dropped him during the night), and my partner stirs.  Does he check that we're ok?  Does he hell!  He rolls over as if to avoid being disturbed by our happy little party.  Were I not holding a baby, it is at this moment that I would smash his face in.  I really, really want to lash out at him and I can only put it down to sheer exhaustion coupled with a baby screeching in my earhole.  Instead of smothering him with a pillow I sit downstairs, make a brew and put the telly on....ok, I usually have a sneaky bag of Wotsits too but I need the energy, (no wonder I still look pregnant)!!

I long to climb back into bed, (the sofa is extremely uncomfortable), but I fear that my mugshot may end up all over the news.  NEW MUM BLUDGEONS SLEEPING PARTNER WITH A TOMMEE TIPPEE!

Alas, I fear I am destined to sleep on the sofa evermore......


  1. Haha, if Ryan even wakes up when Lyra needs a feed he mumbles 'love you' then rolls over and resumes snoring. As I am bf that seems to mean that I also have cuddling, soothing and changing duties, didn't realise you need boobs to do those? But, the poor lambs have to get up for work, don't they.

    Hang, what is it I've been doing since 6am? Feels suspiciously like work...

  2. So true Sarah, although we seem to do 20+ hour shifts in our jobs!! Can't wait to have a night out and see how he copes for more than 20 mins without me running round bringing him anything he needs.
    More fool me I guess! xx

  3. you write well and you are a better mum than you think as we all are.

  4. I know it's sounds funny but I really know it isn't at the time. My husband would have been like that if we'd had a child together. He is very old-fashioned and childcare is something is would never have known how to handle. It really annoys me that men do this - they take their pleasure then expect the woman to do the rest. Funny in some case, but leaves us mums exhausted, then they wonder why we're snapping at them!

    CJ xx

  5. Men have it down to a fine art and am not sure about all this 'not being tuned in' business. More like selective hearing and selfishness! Yes they have to work granted but they don't realise it's a whole lot easier being at work than looking after a baby. I have had many a 'want to bludgeon you' moments myself :-) x

  6. Phew! I'm not a total mentalist after all, unless we're all a bit mad?!

  7. love that you find humour in distress!

    I breast feed my youngest which means my OH has never shifted his arse in the night and I dont think he would have if we had bottle fed!

    Bloody men


    popped over from the blow your own blog hop

  8. hahaha

    wicked.. loving the blog sis.. xx

  9. Hey there!!!! Welcome back - I was just thinking about you the other day, wondering how things were going with the little 'un. Life is a bit of a whirlwind for the first few months, isn't it???

    For the first two weeks after my first daughter was born, I slept in a sleeping bag on the couch, with the Moses Basket perched on the coffee table next to me - AND I'd had a Caesarean!!!

    I've breast fed both my children, so OH has NEVER done a night feed. Men suck sometimes. Fact. ;)